All Creatures Great and Scary

8/17/20251 min read

So, this might sound weird, but I normally talk to animals. I mean, beyond talking to the cat when I feed it or whatnot. I talk to the birds when I water outside, warn wasps away from me if I feel threatened, and even to spiders I see on the porch. I normally make an understanding with those giant garden spiders and also with the black fuzzy jumping spiders every summer. The understanding is, as long as they stay in the predetermined area, I will not squash them or use an entire can of wasp spray to remove their presence from this old world. If they move into forbidden zones that have already been designated as such, they will burn, and I will have no regret.

Anyway, for the first time in all my memory, I have made this understanding with a Daddy long-legs in the corner of my bathroom where ceiling meets wall. I have told him that he is welcome to stay as long as he understands two things: 1. never ever fall on me if I am reading a book in the tub, 2. stay at the ceiling only, you can wander back and forth in that area, but never move near the toilet. He acquiesced to my conditions, and he has actually been living there for over a month. He has grown as large as I have ever seen a Daddy long-legs. I was dusting in there last week and almost had a heart attack because there was another one hidden by the painting frame over the tub. I have allowed Son of Spider to stay, as he was not part of the agreement, but his daddy has followed the rules so well.

Anyway, a couple of days ago, Daddy Legs was gone. Just gone. I actually took a flashlight and swept its light around the room to see if there had been an infringement on our agreement. He was gone. I felt a bit nostalgic as I thought of our times together, then went about my day.

Now two days later, I almost had another heart attack while brushing my teeth. Where ceiling meets wall there was this dark blob. I put my glasses on and lo and behold, Daddy Legs has returned. I asked him if he had been on holiday, but alas, he is just a spider and did not respond.